I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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