Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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