well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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