You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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