$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
