4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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