I hate all girls vehemently.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
