Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
