I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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