we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
