the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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