There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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