That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
