third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
