Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
