sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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