if you like me you must not know who I am
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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