She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
