the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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