If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
