i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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