Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
