Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
