the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I need moral support for this bender
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
