The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
