Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
