i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
