just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
