This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
