I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
