Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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