Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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