We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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