Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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