I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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