Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
