what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
so much tequila, so little girl.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
