Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
