Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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