I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
