Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
