I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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