We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
