it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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