Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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