dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
