physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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