Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
