we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
