I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
