Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
